Break A Coconut

My fibre connection went down,

I called Vodacom, it came back round,

But now it's crawling, way too slow,

I'm payin' full price for half the show.

Apparently I gotta break a coconut,

Just to get what I already paid for, what?

Vodacom, listen, this a setup,

16 Days, No Fibre, Full Debit Order, fed up.

“Inconvenience” is now a joke,

While I'm stuck here watchin' my patience smoke.

Vodacom Nightmare, nightmare,

I'm in a horror movie, ain't nobody care.

Break a coconut

Just to get my speed up

Break a coconut

For the service I paid up

Vodacom Nightmare

This ain't right, nah

Break a coconut

Then they move it back, ha

Now they talkin' attorneys, what a scene,

For operatin' on a prepaid plan, that's mean.

Hand me over like I did some crime,

For tryin' to survive in a billing grind.

What's worse, I've been talkin—

Yeah, I'm cut off mid-thought,

Every call's a loop, every promise is bought.

They say “please hold,” then they let me fall,

Sixteen days deep and I seen it all.

Break a coconut

Just to get my speed up

Break a coconut

For the service I paid up

Vodacom Nightmare

This ain't right, nah

Break a coconut

Then they move it back, ha

I don't want excuses,

I want what I bought,

I don't want a runaround,

I want the speed I got.

Say it's restored,

But the needle won't climb,

You took my money,

Then you stole my time.

Break a coconut

Just to get my speed up

Break a coconut

For the service I paid up

Vodacom Nightmare

This ain't right, nah

Break a coconut

Then they move it back, ha